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Thursday, February 23, 2012

First Campaigner Challenge: Tainted

This is my entry to the First Campaigner Challenge. Here are the rules:

Write a short story/flash fiction story in 200 words or less, excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words, “Shadows crept across the wall”. These five words will be included in the word count.

If you want to give yourself an added challenge (optional), do one or more of these:
  • end the story with the words: "everything faded." (also included in the word count) (Check)
  • include the word "orange" in the story
  • write in the same genre you normally write (Check)
  • make your story 200 words exactly!


Tainted

Shadows crept across the wall and along the floor, attaching to clawed feet and thick tails that scraped along the ground. Arre watched her kin pass. She wouldn’t take part in the search for survivors. A shudder ran along her spine; the creatures were like mirror images of herself. Stunted wings folded against drawn skin, black tongues writhing in their maws, awaiting the taste of flesh.
What a distorted, hated being she’d become, marred by the use of tainted magic. One time wouldn’t affect her, she had thought. She’d protected her village from the onslaught of monsters, but they never stopped coming. Each time she changed a little, until she became one of them.
She opened her maw wide, wishing she could devour herself and end her cursed existence.
Rays of light flowed along the earth, bouncing off the armor of a hired warrior. She’d killed him. Even he had failed to defeat her, not once had the blade touched her. Awkwardly her clawed fingers curled around the blade’s handle. She lifted it, pressed the tip against her chest, shifted it a little to the left.
Relief mingled with pain rushed through her. Everything faded.


If you enjoyed the story, please like it here. I'm number 163.

18 comments:

  1. I could really visually the monsters in the story and liked how you ended the piece. My entry is #160.

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  2. LOVED this. I really liked the line: "One time wouldn’t affect her, she had thought. She’d protected her village from the onslaught of monsters, but they never stopped coming." That was really cool. Great job!

    I'm entry #19

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  3. Oooh, nice work! This is really an original take on the prompt! Great job!

    I'm #95.

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  4. Very dramatic and strong entry - well done!

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  5. This is right up my alley. Monsters and magic. Who can ever get enough of that? Nice one! :)

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  6. Say what??? So much drama and sadness.
    I understand the use of magic changing her so much but still, I feel it wasn't fair to her.
    Thank you for making me care. :)

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  7. Great story! It makes me want to know more. I'm voting! Mine is #173.

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  8. I love the backstory to this.

    #109

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  9. Great story. I liked it a lot. It advanced to the next round of judging.

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  10. Thank you all for your comments. I saw the prompt and immeadiately thought: MONSTERS! =)

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  11. Hi Emilia, I'm finally stopping in from the Fantasy group at the campaign!

    Wow, I love your piece! I really enjoy reading the ideas different authors come up with that still play within certain themes (good vs evil, doing something bad to protect someone, etc). Awesome job!

    I'm entry #161 if you're interested in reading :)

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  12. Excellent, Emilia! I just love your writing. You are so wonderfully creative - I loved the descriptions. And her suicide was so sad...

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  13. Wow. This was very well written and very tragic. Great job!

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  14. It's amazing how a wrong decision made for the right decision can just become even more wrong. Very sad but beautifully written.

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  15. Very dramatic! How sad that she committed suicide!

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